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Friday, February 1, 2019

Eight years in the City

Hey.

The present in the past is like a servant who treads besides you, steps so softly you'd barely know where they'd progressed.  Their desires, what they take from you, what minute rearranging has occurred by their steady watch - this body, the room and its set pieces, the real estate of your heart.

They even take a screwdriver to your temples as you lie asleep, sifting out the old shadows, the prior half-stitched narratives, spooning new ones in their stead.

So, rather than recount the prior year in detail (which included a wonderful wedding, visits to California, and the gift of a stubborn, wickedly clever black pug), I thought I'd repost my 40 goals for the next 40 years.  They're broken down into four categories - Silly, Career Goals, Goals to Invite and Help Others, and Self-Care goals.

Love and thanks to you,

Jara

1) I will learn the supernatural ability to read people’s thoughts, and only when I wish to do so. I will be able to influence others and myself with only my thoughts, and only for the positive gain of both each person’s living path and the collective peace of the universe. An example - I won’t make anyone billionaires, and I’ll gently but effectively persuade the rich to balance the scales. (Silly #1)

2)I will campaign to ensure people know who I am and what I do. (Career #1)

3)I will accept in the marrow of my bones that there is always enough time for everything. I alone control what’s important , how much work I accept into my life, how much sleep, how much room for love, for family, for friends. (Self #1)

4)I will return to the blank resources and commit myself to make shitty first steps. They are not the complete journey, but the only path towards creation. (Career #2)

5)I will begin the lost practice of letter writing . My penmanship, while earthy and imperfect, will guide me to write letters of substance and only continue a letter correspondence with other earnest lives. (Others #1)

6)I will be the first person to play mumble-de-peg in space and win. (Silly #2)

7)I will return to books, to reading with the same voracious appetite as my youth. All subjects, all sizes. I will put down a book when it no longer satisfies me rather than slog through the tedious, the half-written, the smug and vacuous. (Self #2)

8)I will be the mentor for others that I do desperately wish for myself. (Others #2)

9)I will actually say what I goddamn want and need, or what I’d like, rather than couch it in stammers and surprise passive-aggressive behavior. (Self #3)

10)I will check in on one new person a day, by email, by phone, etc. to be humble and curious about their lives and what’s living in their heart. (Others #3)

11) I will form a professional relationship with Paul F Tompkins as fascinating and convergent as Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla. I will create a project in which we directly work together and he is lauded by the mainstream and given greater career prosperity. (Silly #3)

12)I will ask for professional favors. I will let go of the fear that I’m weak to do so or bothering people and accept that people want to help one another (Career #3)

13)I will be kinder to my body and recognize that it is good and beautiful right now, scars and weight and imperfect. I will give myself exercise and healthier foods not out of punishment, but as a gift (Self #4)

14)I will make Barbara Sher’s living goodness of a manual. Wishcraft, a kinetic practice in my life. I will create and maintain a series of periodic barnstorming sessions , where others can help one another with the skills they have (Others #4)

15)I will submit to poetry and play contests/publishers once a month. Career #4)

16)I will write, record, and perform the best country song ever. (Silly #4)

17)I will become a master of self-hypnosis, and utilize the plasticity of the mind to settle and enrich myself. (Self #5)

18)I will admit to myself that I have deep knowledge of several subjects and offer my time and expertise to share this with others.(Others #5)

19)I will make yearly pragmatic career goals and cultivate a malleable business plan and creative team (Career #5)

20)I will live my life so that the mention of my name becomes a word in the dictionary for a positive effect ( Silly #5) 

21)I will embrace new clothing for my age/body type and purchase/replace clothing more often. (Self #6)

22)I will return to volunteering - it doesn’t have to be grand. It can be once every three months. (Others #6)

23)I will write down three new ideas a day without judgement. (Career #6)

24)I will create a one man show which will require me to throw a tomahawk across the room and hit a target with and non-career related purposes. (Silly #6)

25)I will learn one fun, non-creative skill a year.(Self #7)

26) I will give the future children I may have a safe, honest, and empowering space to share their feelings about mental health, dreams, and love. (Others #7)

27)I will continually update my tools. (Career #7)

28)For my future children, the first word I will teach them will be mama. The first phrase i teach them will be “mama is cool”  Silly #7)

29)I will meticulously archive songs , stories in an accessible place (chord tabs, drafts) so others can use and build upon them after I’m gone. (Self #8)

30)I will give my friends and loved ones surprise gifts. No celebration required. (Others #8)

31)I will take classes to further develop myself as an artist and a business. I will examine the fear I hold as being a mediocre student and a fraud, of skewing my focus towards wanting to please instructors and fellow students rather than delve into the holy mess of growth. (Career #8)

32)I will eat at ALL the Thai restaurants in NYC, and I will pull off Thai cooking as good as what I made in Chiangmai (Silly #8)

33)I will buy quality items that cost more rather than cheaper items I constantly have to replace. I will stop living in a scarcity mindset .(Self # 9)

34)I will pass on the tales of my father and my mother, both masterful storytellers in their own way. (Others #9)

35)I will remain current and informed on all recent trends in theatre and voice over - new tools, new artists, new styles within each medium. (Career #9)

36)I will surround myself with more magic in my life - literally. I will reopen’s Phil Flad’s dear college graduation gift to me and resume the childhood joy I once had in learning and executing magic tricks. I will remind myself that sometimes magic exists in this world, that I don’t have to know everything, and that’s ok. (Silly #9)

37)I will reach financial solvency, pay my debts, and save enough for my family expenses and my older years. (Self #10)

38)I will start and endow a college scholarship and post-college award to those foolish and brave enough to want to make things all their lives. One yearly will be awarded to upcoming freshman majoring in the arts and be based on income level, a submission/audition, and an interview. The second will apply to artists post-college, just starting out and will award them funds to make the bumpy road just a touch easier. (Others #10)

39)I will transform the dreaded practice of networking into a more honest, inspiring ideal- to cultivate relationships with mutual admiration and intention. (Career #10)

40) I will finally learn how to correctly throw a goddamn boomerang. (Silly #10)