End of February - What Have You Learned?

Month 1's almost done.

And you're hungry.  You're impatient.  You've learned quite a bit, and still feel so ignorant, so bewildered.

What you've learned:

1) You have no real clue how to start the acting career you want -  Where are the places for non-union people to work in this city?  How does today's actor become union?   Everyone says one needs to hustle; but with whom and where? 

2)New Yorkers must love drinking sodas with straws -  because every place offers them to you when you eat.  And you don't like the sensation.  The carbonation hugs the thin membrane of the plastic straw and all you taste is the heat of your breath and this treacly outpouring of syrup.  Cavities be damned, you're not using the straws.

3)You have not been dealing with grief and isolation well - Humans are magnificently stupid beasts.  If you're required to focus on sacrifice and working long, arduous hours in order to raise cash to uproot your life, you can shelve how wretched you feel about losing so much over the past year and a half.  How lonely you've become. 
        You saw this happen before when you first moved back to LA.  Racking up thousands of dollars in debt with no job and a cockroach-laden studio apartment with gnarled, thick, brown shag carpeting.  Misery pressing your throat.  Sleeping erratic, desperate hours in an effort to hide from yourself.  Your unwanted self. 

And here, in a month's time, you've witnessed those old habits creeping up.  The sleeping sickness.  The frantic checking and rechecking of Ok Cupid.  Crying over fucking Air Supply songs, for godsakes.  It's pathetic and the only remedy for it to pass is time. 

Thanks to Winnie, to Michael, to Carole for making this first month filled with adventures!