Mother Dear - an old song

Hey.

Here's an older song I wrote about a decade ago for my mom.

Another stark winter. This was in Los Angeles, though.  2001.  Moved back to South Central after taking seven months to save up money in Modesto (after college). 

I was impatient, and hungry for change. Let my unease take over my common sense.  Who goes back to LA to try to be a substitute teacher and pursue an acting career without having a car, without possessing a driver's license?  My savings ran out quickly, and I spiraled into debt and misery.

This is the first time I lived alone. The studio apartment was rife with stiff, brown shag carpeting, and the cockroaches were not afraid. Used to wake me up with tiny time steps on my face.  Determined not to lose myself to depression and self-doubt, I did what all twenty-something creative monkeys do: plowed through copies of THE ARTIST'S WAY and THE VEIN OF GOLD, littered my apartment walls with taped quotes in an effort to inspire me. Harnessed my self-hypnosis skills.  Used them to get past my flaws and finally, after seven years of painful trial and error, procured my driver's license.

Twelve years later.  I'm living another solitary life, this time in New York City. Loved and lost, earned a few minor successes. And I think about this song.

My mother has a fountain of hope and faith brimming inside her which I will never match.  It's such an intense power to witness. She's silly and passionate and wears the quiet strength a lifetime of hardship has tested and tested again. She's always been there to support me and the rest of her children.

Te amo mucho, mama. 

Here's the song:


first verse
mother dear
hear my cry
this januarys gonna
wring
me
dry
send a prayer
double time
my bodys achin
from a
nameless
crime

chorus
everyone should have a mother
borne of tenderness like you
though apart from one another
i still see you
at night when im asleep
a child again

second verse
mother smiles
beacons light
her worlds been ragged
but she still
smiles
right
mother saves
little things
old yearbook photos
invitations
strings

chorus

bridge
and im beginning to stand
on my own
two
feet
crash and burn and cry sometimes
but its all right
yes its all right
oh mother dear
youre the purest
human
creature
one
could ever hope to know
as i live
i sing
your
mothers song

third verse
mother dear
hear your boy
this januarys gonna
bring
us
joy
trouble come
trouble go
what only matters
is the love
we
sow

chorus